Blooming Blood Drops
by Lonewritersclub
Summary: Dan is a patient in an asylum where he isn't getting any better. New Doctor Phil Lester needs a patient to work with. Dan doesn't know at first, but Dr. Lester is going to be practicing on a sex reassignment surgery and plans Dan to be the first one to try it out. / AU: Mental hospital.
1. Prologue

Dan had been there for three years. From the day he turned fifteen and freaked out about the shadows in his room to his mom. For three years he has laid on those uncomfortable beds in those uncomfortably crowded, smelly white rooms with people who have lost their minds. For three years he has been told the same things, the same things he won't believe.

Dan Howell isn't mad like the others. He's simply more aware of the environment around him. And it's a shame that the others don't believe him, when he says he notices things that others might not and that those shadowy creatures with their disgusting, red eyes and sharp teeth are there really.

Dan has experienced it all that you can in a madhouse, but none of it has helped him any. Therapy they say nowadays will bring you to the happy horizon of recovery, but bullshit says Dan. He has been to therapy as well, but that did nothing but clear his vision even more that the pills cloud. There isn't anything he needs to recover from, when there's just isn't. He won't recover from the truth. He can't.

He can say that the nurses and the doctors have definitely given up on trying to make him _'better'._ It's easier for them to just lock him up and keep him from being a trouble. But yet another new doctor has come in to say hello and he doesn't know that Dan is a lost case.

Black hair and black framed glasses. Blue eyes of naive. Small smile, promising honesty and sympathy. And a crooked nose to tell he can change. As if this man is going to _cure_ him. As if his white lab coat would make him any smarter. Or the words he has read from his funny books could take the shadows away.

But Dan guesses the man was never out there to help him after all. Maybe he never even cared about him as much as he said so. He just did as he pleased.

And Dan was patient and Phil Lester was doctor, so what could Dan do?


	2. Psycho you are

Blue eyes are piercing Dan's brown ones thoughtfully, trying to find out what's happening behind the facade. His eyes are bright, light blue and intense. Dan can find so many other colors in them too, when he looks hard, but the pond blue that dominates the iris is what he might call him if he ever forgets his name. Dr. Lester is a handsome man indeed with his sharp jaw and jet black hair that's a heap on his head. Then those black eyeglasses that just seemed to perfect his intelligence in a stereotypical way.

"So how would you describe them? What do they look like? How do you feel like when they come around?" he asks and looks like he's studying him intensely. Dan looks down to his lap where his doctor is resting his green notebook on.

"They are shadows, but they don't have to lurk against the floors or the walls, or the ceiling. They are almost human like. But somehow lumpy though, and they have red eyes and lips and pointy teeth. They are always smiling. It's like an evil grin that's frozen on their faces. But it isn't a real face", Dan mumbles, not really concentrating on what he's saying. Just saying what he feels is right.

"And how do you feel when they are there, Dan?" he questions now lowering his gaze to his notes and writing something down. His black hair slightly falls forward to his forehead as he does that.

"I'm scared obviously. They don't exactly make me excited or happy. Even if it happens quite often, there's just something so powerful going through my body at those times. But it's like ice, freezing me to my very core. Terror. I want them gone, but I know that I can never forget that those type of creatures exist. I wouldn't be living in oblivion even if I stopped seeing them", Dan explains firmly. One thing he knew about being here for so long is that there's no point in trying to wriggle around the topic your psychiatrist wants to talk about with you. It's just going to make it harder to get out of here.

"Alright", Dr. Lester murmurs and looks down at his notes again and scribbling something to them. "You've been diagnosed as schizophrenic before. How does that make you feel?" he asks while still writing his assumptions about him. They all do that. Making notes about him being crazy as a bat. If they only knew.

"I feel betrayed by the doctors. They are suppose to help me get rid of them, but they don't even believe me when I say that the shadows are there", Dan says honestly with a frustrated sigh. He stares at the white wall which looks a bit yellow because the only working lamp in the room that's in the corner has a dirty yellow lampshade.

"They have prescribed you medicine for that the shadows will go away. I believe the shadows are there, but they are just in your head, but the pills will take them away", Dr. Lester explains with a gentle voice but Dan gets angry anyway, because he doesn't seem to understand still.

"But the shadows are really there! It seems I'm the only one who sees clearly. The pills make me just blind. You need to get rid of the shadows, please. No my eye sight", Dan starts pleading by the end as he's getting desperate by the second for someone to give him some relief from the constant fear he has.

"Alright, I understand now. It's going to be fine. I'll prescribe you other pills that take the shadows away completely. They won't affect you, only them. You will be free from seeing them ever again then. They will be gone, because they won't want to be around you with the medicine inside you", the man says and points his pen at Dan like he's very excited about his discovery that will make it all better.

"Really?" Dan isn't so sure if he should believe him, but doctors aren't meant to lie and even though Dan has met a few who have, Dr. Lester doesn't seem like one. He looks like a honest man who just wants him to feel good again.

"You know that I'd not lie to you Daniel", Dr. Lester says like he knew what he's thinking. Maybe he does, he's a psychiatrist after all. It would be convenient. He stands up and ruffles Dan's hair gently, but leaves his hand between the fluffy brown locks for a moment and tilts Dan's head back to see into his eyes.

"It's going to be better now", he says and leaves. Dan brings his legs to his chest and looks as the door closes behind him and locks. Why would only know would they find out how to get rid of the shadows? Or is Lester really the first doctor to believe him?


End file.
